I received an email from Google, and they drafted one of my post about the WordPress plugin thingy. They stated that my post was "Offensive and should be removed". Well, I admit, it was offensive.

I deleted the post, there's no point of drafting it. Claiming is just a waste of time. Anyway, I'm so in the mood for personal stuff. So, I want to start a tag!

the rule is, list out 10 things (or more) you are not meant to be, but you're doing it/living with it/suffering through it right now and why, or simply just list out the things you're not meant to be even though it's not happening right now or in the future and you don't want it to happen or ANYTHING AT ALL. it's kinda complicated, but I would like to know.

here goes, I'm not meant to:

1) be educated, or anything 'education', because I'm literally stupid (in a good way).
2) be rich, because I admit, I'm not that hardworker or ambitious.
3) be on stage, because I have glossophobia, but I really want to be on stage and rock the crowd.
4) be fit, because I just don't like sports!
5) be a professional blogger, because my grammar sucks.
6) be a good daughter, because I don't know. I just don't feel like I am.
7) have fancy stuff and you know why (see number 2)
8) wear strapless shirt, because I got wide shoulders.
9) be a fighter (in general), because I'm weak.
10) be kind, because I'm not 'that' friendly.
11) be on X Factor, American Idol or any sorts of singing competition because, I don't have the voice and I hate to be judged. (see number 3)
12) be a judge, because I don't like to judge or misjudge people.
13) be a host of a talkshow, because I can't compete or be on the same level as Tyra Banks, Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres, and my self-speech kinda suckish.
14)be a photographer, because I don't have a camera right now and I want one so badly.
15) be an artist, because my drawings are like hfidhfsjhdfuehfsjfhwerf

that's all I can think of right now. I want to know your NOT MEANT TO BEs. Anything at all.

The moral of this post is not for making yourself feel down or creating low self esteem. This post, genuinely posted by me from my own brain, just to make sure that we don't have any narcissism or ego in ourselves. Some say that's confidence, but they are both far eccentric from each other. We must know that everybody is not perfect. Sometimes, it is hard to admit that we have these weakness in ourselves but we try to fight it, and somehow it gets worse. However, jolting down your weakness or your NOT MEANT TO BEs remind you that you are a human and we're battling for it.

Even though, I stated that I'm weak or I'm not ambitious, but deep down, I am. I was just pointing to out that I, if you realized, that am a quiet and patient, taking-it-easy kind of person. Recently, I received or being announced about my exam results. And it was quite disappointing. actually, VERY disappointing. I worked my ass off for that exam. I really did. And I feel no justice in that sheet of paper. I don't know where did I go wrong.

Maybe they were my own faults. Maybe I don't study that hard. But, when I really think about it, there has been no satisfactions written on that result paper. There's this surrounding that I fear, that I'm scared of, that do not understand me and THEY make me feel weak and unsatisfied. I want them to really observe my deep thoughts about them, they were just thinking about themselves. like, they force me to do want I'm NOT MEANT TO BE.

I cannot blame myself for that result, there are other sources that I can relate and prove WHY I got those results!

There are so many things I can talk about right now, but let's not get carried away. So what are you waiting for, start jolting down!